You may have done everything right, followed all the rules and guidelines, carefully planned and prepared, spent outrageous amounts of money, pleaded, begged and argued, visualized, affirmed and sent powerful intentions to the universe and still things didn’t go as planned. You may feel angry, cheated, betrayed by loved ones, trusted individuals, institutions, authority figures, religion, and even God himself.
You may be asking yourself why….. Why would this happen? Even asking why such a benevolent loving God would deny you your hearts desires after you have given everything you have, done everything right. How could this been allowed to happen? Asking what I could have possibly done wrong? Counting the things you think you may have done wrong. Then finding yourself making up stories about being undeserving, a mistake, not good enough, too this…., too that…. or being punished for something you did wrong in the past. If only….., then maybe…. All of the sudden your faith and trust has shaken you to the core. You may start to question what you believe in, what you thought to be true. Who am I if I don’t have… or can’t….
Grieving is a process. It is something we must all go through to progress. You can run, hide, numb, distract, avoid, medicate, overcompensate, try to fix, control, manipulate, retaliate, isolate in an effort to hang on to what was lost. Any attempts to do so only prolongs the suffering. The only way out is through. Often times the pain seems so great that if you were to feel it, it would consume you, take you over and you would fall apart. Anything else may seem better than feeling the agony of grief and despair. You may feel that doing so would mean an admission of defeat and you weren’t enough to do something about something you ultimately had no control over.
The easiest thing to do may seem like the hardest. It’s to be with what you feel without judgment, not making anyone or anything else wrong, being ok without having all the answers and allowing yourself to feel all the emotions. All those emotions are just energy that wants to move through the body. Ultimately what we want is the reconnection to what was once lost and to be at peace.