It doesn't seem to matter how old you are as I have worked with women up to 84 years of age and there's still residual un-forgiveness and old patterns playing out from young childhood. That's a lot of years to be giving away power that should belong to you, acting out old limiting beliefs before you were too young to have any idea about what was really going on at the time or who you really are.
When I work with clients to resolve and come to peace with their mommas, it makes me sad and happy at the same time. It's sad so much of their lives were affected in ways that held them so far back in life and happy to see them finally moving forward with freedom from old constructs.
It makes us think about the impact we've had on our own children, what we might have inadvertently said or done to misconstrue what was true in the situation. What thoughts, beliefs and emotions did they accept based on my words and actions. It's a sobering thought to think how much of an impact our own words and actions affect our children before they are even born. It almost makes you feel like a failure right off.
The thing is our children are making choices based on a limited understanding and reasoning ability and there is no way we can control what meaning they decide to give a certain event. Two children can give the same event completely different meaning about life and themselves.
The fortunate thing is that children are quite resilient. They bounce back rather quickly. It's when they continue to experience the same hurtful occurrences over and over again without any attempt for reconnection in between that creates these limiting patterns in life. That's good news for us as mom's in that as long as we continue quickly come back to a place of reconnection, we actually teach our children how to build resiliency. They become self-actualized well adapted adults.
You're not going to be perfect. Forget about it right now. Just remember to keep showing up in love during times of disconnect, keep teaching and keep modeling the behavior you want them to emulate. Respect yourself, respect them.
Our children come here to be with us because they chose us, just like you chose your mother. You were as much your mother's teacher as your children are your teachers. You have the opportunity to clear generational patterns from your ancestry before they get passed on to the next generation.
Remember that every person comes here to experience a temporal existence with certain learning opportunities. Each child has his or her soul purpose. To some even the most perfect parent cannot keep a child from going astray. Often times a child will trigger and manipulate a parent like no one else can. They bring up our own unhealed wounds to be bring into the light and be healed. They show us our shadow parts, the ugly parts we might not see or want to see. They become the doors to healing our wounds with our own mothers and fathers.
We all have our own soul contract. We may be here to play a role for our own parents and our children to fulfill them in ways we may not even understand. There is no failure. It's all learning and growth. The important thing is to search to align oneself with truth again and again just like an airplane redirects itself on course over and over again. Never fret because the more you heal yourself, the more you heal the next generation.